The Teacher asked all the students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except Banta.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"
Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..
Galileo used 2 study in smal lamp. Graham Bell used 2 study in candle light. Shakspeare used 2 study in street light. Mujhe ye samajh nahi aata ke yeh sab Din Mein Kya Karte the?
A funny accountant visits a museum with a Sardar Ji.
Accountant: This painting is 500 years and 20 days old.
Sardar: Amazing! Where did you get this exact information?
Accountant: I was here 20 days ago. The guide told me that the painting was 500 years old.
Manager: Sorry, but I can't give u a job. I don't have any more work.
Santa: That's all right, sir. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You see, I won't ask you to give me work anyway!!
Laloo applied for the post of a detective in Patna. In the interview he was asked a question:
Who killed Mahatma Gandhi?
Laloo: I will tell you tomorrow.
Laloo come home and tells his wife: I got the job and my first work is to investigate who killed Gandhi.
Sardar saw a very high Airtel Tower
& red light glowing on the top,
seeing this he said “India is developing fast,
see there are traffic signals for Aeroplane in the air
Interviewer: what is skeleton?
Sardar: Sir, skeleton is a person
Who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!
A sardar learning English introduces his family in the party:
Hi! I am sardar,
This is my sardarni,
he is my kid,
& she is my kidney.
1day Santa had a dream, in that some1 killed him.
Next day he closed his bank a/c.
B’coz bank’s slogan was
‘WE MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE’
Man: Santa where were U born?
Santa: Punjab.
Man: Which part?
Santa: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar.
Napolean:”In my dictionary there’s no word called “IMPOSSIBLE”
Sardar:”Abi bolne se kya faida,jab kharida tabi barabar dekhna chahie na.
Santa : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying…. When Banta asked what he was doing…. He replied… Oye!! Higher Studies Yaar…!!!
Santa travelling in flight shouts: I have reached Bangalore. I have reached Bangalore.
Air hostess: B silent.
Santa shouts: I have reached Angalore Angalore
Banta was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing?
He said: I am seeing how i look while sleeping.
IT Technician: Your computer has very less processing power. Thats why it is running slow.
Santa: Can I increase voltage so that it gets more power?
Santa and Banta were watching a cricket match. When Dhoni hits a boundary.
Banta: Kya Goal mara.
Santa: Raha Na bewakoof ka bewakoof, Goal is mein nahin cricket mein hota hai
Ek bar santa ki beti ko baccha hua
to santa bhar khada ta or bola me nana
ban gaya ya nani
Sardarji opens his lunch box
in the middle of the road….why ?
Just to confirm whether he is going
to or coming back from the office
Jeeto: yelled at Santa: U're gonna b really sorry! I'm going to LEAVE you!
Santa: Make up ur mind! Which one is it gonna be?
Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?
ek bar santa singh pagal ho jata hai, wo bar-2 kehta rehta hai ke gulel banunga chidi marunga.kuch saal pagal khane rehne ke baad woh theek ho jata hai. doctor uss se poochta hai ke ab kya karoge ?
santa: pehle main paise ikathe karke shaadi karunga, phir mere ladka hoga, ek saal baad main uska janamdin manaunga, janamdin par ussey bahut sare gift milenge. gift mein ek nikker bhi hogi, main uss nikker se elastic nikalunga,gulel banaunga aur chidi marunga.
Santa: Mere Pass Gaddi Hai, Banglow Hai, Paisa Hai.
Tumhare Paas Kya Hai?
Banta: Mere Pass Bhi Gaddi Hai, Banglow Hai, Paisa Hai.
.
.
.
Santa: To Saaley Apni Maa Kiske Paas Hai?
sharab pikar santa ghar pahucha, aur darwaja khatkhatya
Santa's ki wife door kholti hai to santa khata hai: aap kaun ho?
Wife:tumhari himat kaise hui ki tum mujhe hi bhul gaye.
Santa: Sharab har gham ko bhula deti hai.
Santa banta got two bomb.
Santa told give them to police.
Banta: What if one of explode in middle?
Santa: We will lie and tell them we got only one.
Santa went to buy potato one week before. And he not came back. His wife told to inspector.
Inspector was also sardar. He told sister cook some thing else.
Santa : "When my wife is infuriated, she starts shouting at me, my children and even at our dogs and nobody dares answer her."
Banta : "And when you are angry, what do you do?"
Santa : "I also shout angrily at the windows and doors of the house and none of them dares to answer back.
Sardar: In my dreams rats play football every night
Doctor: take this tablet you will be OK
Saradar: Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final match
Sardar starts shouting in a store......
where is my free gift with this oil?
Shopkeeper : there is nothing free with this
Sardar: it is written CHOLESTEROL FREE.
Sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat.
His friend asks him "What Sardarji? Are you afraid of the cinema?"
Sardarji replies "I am an intelligent man, I know it is a movie, but does that animal know?"
